Toast, Muffins, Etc.

Dylan

2011-04-14T12:31:00.001-07:00

So recently, I made an assignment where students had to create a Wikipedia page for a song. Then, to get an A, they have to post it on Wikipedia. For posterity, I also posted my sample paper on wikipedia.
Here's the project: https://sites.google.com/site/english11odlh/assignments/duethisweek411through415

Drivel

2010-10-15T23:21:00.001-07:00

This evening, Tisa and I drove up to Merced while listening to Yann Martel's Beatrice and Virgil, which had this strange part where the narrator reads a play with the two title characters discussing a pear. It was incredibly descriptive, if a little overwrought, but I enjoyed the description because it helped me imagine the role I would like writing to play in my classroom. I'd like to start including "Writer's Workshops" in my classroom. This is the result of several things...

Two weeks ago, I read an article about hands-on learning in The Atlantic. The article talked about the students who competed in an annual showcase for innovation, emphasizing learning by doing philosophy in the classroom. It made me slightly sad; I began my career as a teacher with the intention of developing a hands-on approach to teaching students. I even wanted to work at an educational learning camp similar to CELP, which is apparently not spelled "Kelp" as I always imagined it. It's really frustrating trying to meet the needs of my current school environment due to the focus on Standardized Testing. I believe that standardized testing has actually made me a worse teacher... I am trying so hard to gear my lessons towards the tests that it is taking away from some of the interactive learning environment that I originally envisioned. Reading this helped me start questioning what I was currently doing in the classroom.

So, I'd like to try to give my students a slight sense of "learning by doing" in my classroom. Specifically, Tisa and I talked about using writer's workshop as an experiential learning model for teaching writing. Here's what I imagine it looking like:

Each block class, I'll have students write for roughly 20 minutes (at first, perhaps increasing the duration to 30 minutes or so later in the year).
I'll try to map out the year with a different writing genre each month, similar to the genres outlined by Kelly Gallagher (descriptive, comparison, argumentative, expository, narrative, etc.).
I'll try to provide one strong example of the genre to help begin the month (like using the piece by Yann Martel to introduce descriptive writing).
Students will write a minimum of two pages per week (roughly a page per day)
They'll keep all the writing of the unit in a portfolio folder.
I'll introduce multiple ways follow up activities as we go... peer editing, revision, read alouds, etc., so that each day, students can choose what they want to do after the reading.
They'll pick one piece of writing to revise and publish at the end of the month.
As we go through the month, I'll pull student samples to show them how to make writing interesting and unique.
And I'll use the sample texts to also highlight grammatical usage such as semi-colons, parallelism, and repetition for effect.
And overall, I'll just try to foster an appreciation for valuing one's own writing as a process for developing thought and presenting one's unique perspective to an audience.

Well, I'm going to try it out. It's tough to reconcile my desire for student success on standardized tests with a model that's more flexible than the typical standards based lesson. But, this is a good year to try it out as it will be my last year with Green Dot. And based on the abysmal jump in Far Below Basic kids I had last year despite my thoughts that it was the best teaching year I'd had so far. It makes sense to try something new this year.

Heading to Europe...

2010-07-04T15:58:00.000-07:00

Hey all, Tisa and I are heading to Europe for the summer. Just in case you feel like checking out our itinerary, it's below. If you have any rec's for any of these places, add a comment and we'll try to check it out!
-Kevin

Jul 6 - flight
Jul 7-8 - Munich
Jul 9-10 - Prague
Jul 11 - Passau, Germany (I believe that means we're in Germany for the end of the World Cup... hope they make it to the finals!)
Jul 12-18 - Bike tour down the Danube, ending in Vienna
Jul 19-20 - Lake Bled, Slovenia
Jul 21-22 - Ljubljana, Slovenia
Jul 23-24 - Rovinj, Croatia
Jul 25-28 - Dubrovnic, Croatia
Jul 19 - Hvar
Jul 30 - Pisa, Italy
Jul 31-Aug 2 - Cinqueterre
Aug 3 - Lucca
Aug 4-5 - Florence
Aug 6 - Volterra
Aug 7 - Sienna
Aug 8-9 - Roma
Aug 10th - Fly back to SFO

Woo-hoo!

Who's up for brunch?

2010-02-19T10:13:00.000-08:00

With the Mother Hips!!! Yes. Me, definitely. Plus, it says, bring your own Bloody Mary (which I will definitely do). Saturday, Feb 27th, noon, Oragami Vinyl in Echo Park. That night in Solana Beach? Maybe.

The Magicians

2010-02-05T22:26:00.001-08:00

The Magicians by Lev Grossman is going to be one of the next books I read. You (this is directed specifically at you, whoever you are that is reading this) should check it out. We could do a mini-book club. Online. Or a teleconference. Something to that extent.

Heard about it here: http://www.salon.com/ent/critics_picks/2009/08/12/magicians/index.html
and generally think Salon has pretty decent book taste.

Grande Ave.

2010-02-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

Our story begins in an inner-city neighborhood. Our main character skins his knees while rollerblading, the only white kid with a fro in the ghetto. The woman who treats his injury is clearly a working girl, a "hooker with a heart of gold."

Our main character grows up, moving to rural Kansas, where he works at a local DQ. He and a co-worker begin to discuss business ventures. The boys light on the idea that the "working girl" industry could be reformed to provide benefits. Health-care. Dental. They decide to move to New York to start their own business.

The next segment of our story involves our main characters searching for their first employee. They solicit the girls of Grande Ave., and one girl becomes the only employee they can get to sign a contract with them.

The boys search for ways to provide comforts for their employee. Most of their gifts are juvenile, especially compared with the other working girls of the area. The protaganist gives her a giant stuffed panda, which is forever in the background of the scene in Grande Ave., and is sometimes even being pulled into the cars of her customers.

Gradually, the protagonist develops a love for his employee, which develops an ethical conflict for him because he believes that they need to maintain a strictly working relationship. This also becomes more convoluted as the protagonist gets frequently intimidated by her former pimp.

The story ends with the girl leaving the business because they have scared off most of her business, even the regulars. The boys head back to rural Kansas, where they regain their former jobs at the DQ. They discuss other business opportunities, such as turning a junk-yard into a petting zoo and creating calendars of ferrets in various locals.

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You can download the soundtrack by clicking this link, filling in the text box, and waiting about half a minute (damn free megafile sites). Or just listen to it below. It's a pretty sweet mix. Wes Anderson, eat your heart out.

Wes Anderson

Bike to work week

2010-02-03T08:15:00.000-08:00

So, while I don't yet have my bikefriday, I'm trying to make a conscious effort to bike more often to work. Since this is finals week (in some messed up educational equity idea of trying to evenly distribute weeks between the two semesters), Tisa and I rode to work yesterday as an experiment.

First off, on the way there, I realized that there are several hills in the area surrounding the school. When I commented on this to a student, he said, "Of course, Mister. That's why they call it Boyle Heights. If there weren't any hills, they'd call it Boyle Flats."

Second, we tried a different way back, taking the 6th street bridge into downtown (pictured above). It's such an amazing bridge... it must span close to a half mile, and most of it is completely flat, with this great view of downtown.

Third, sweaty collared shirts aren't fun to work in.

Fourth, my bike Friday should be shipped out in the next month :-).
Fifth... Lost... Sayeed is the new Jacob?

Devendra Banhart

2010-01-26T20:24:00.001-08:00

Alright, well I already knew Devendra Banhart was awesome... but tonight, I listened to Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon, and it is apparent that he is a reincarnation of several dead and not dead singers, namely: Gilberto, Jim Morrison, and Marc Bolan (of T. Rex). Give it a listen to, you will not be disappointed.

Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Cany...

I am a transplant, too

2009-12-26T14:26:00.000-08:00

Hello all, here's a quick update on life lately...

First off, Merry Christmas! Tisa and I spent Christmas with the Shumakers this year, and I really enjoyed spending some quality time playing "crash the cars" with Cavin, then later charades, fictionary, and pictionary with the rest of the family. One of the highlights for me was watching my wife try to act out Too Fast, Too Furious; for the word fast, Tisa did a stop motion action of someone running and made a phenomenal "ffshhh" sound that was unmistakably fast.

Another highlight is the cast-iron dutch oven, which was a gift from Mom and Dad Shumaker... I get to finally try out the no knead bread that Bahman posted on his blog a while back... right now dough is rising in the cold oven. You should really check out the Bittman video on how to make bread, hopefully all goes as planned (we are trying to use 2/3 white flour and 1/3 wheat to substitute for a slightly healthier recipe). Here's the original youtube video, if you're so inclined. Or, you could see the modified recipe update for a speedier version a year or two later (where Bittman looks a little hurt that his bread has no crust).

Tisa and I just finished a mini-tour of the northern bay area... here's a quick list of the highlights in chronological order (not by order of importance)...

1. Arrived in SF, staying at Parc 55, very ritzy, very cheap through hotwire.com . But, wait, charging for internet in the room? Lame. Also, parking = nightmare. We parked at a meter a block away from the hotel, then searched fruitlessly for overnight parking, only to return to a parking meter three spots ahead of the original an hour later. Had to get up at 5:30 am to find daily parking.

2. Sweet Crepe's near union square. So good. Savory. (Goal for the upcoming year: try to make a savory crepe).

3. Sweet art at the MOMA.

4. Dinner with Jeff K. at a sweet italian diner, a block from his place--very good food, fun mission district restaurant.

5. Up to Petaluma that night, slept in, checked out the downtown in P-town, then talked with a realtor about what neighborhoods would suit us in the future.

6. Drove through picturesque vineyards and rural countryside about 10 blocks from Petaluma's downtown. The countryside is littered with little bike trails, totally separate from the roads that traverse the county alongside the farms and wineries.

7. Wine tasting @ russian river winery.

8. Met cool people everywhere--from business owners to teachers at restaurants, everyone was friendly and enjoyed striking up casual conversations with us. Such a great change from the pervasive indifference one gets accustomed to in Lala land.

9. Russian River Brewing company. Amazing brews.

10. Iron Horse Winery before leaving town (pictured above). Really great wine, friendly owners, and a great view of the vineyards. Wine tasting is outside, and there we met a wine-maker who was buying a bottle of champagne to celebrate the birth of his daughter. He was a cool dude.

Well, that's ten, and that should be enough. But, my overall impression is that I definitely want to move to this area. Tisa feels the same. We plan on heading up here in 1.5 years... too long, but a necessary time frame to really be ready to buy a house. I can't wait.

Sad story

2009-11-19T00:02:00.001-08:00

Had parent conferences last night and the night before. Here's typically what I'm thinking:

"Man, that kid took forever to turn in his friggin' essay. Jeez, he's got to get his act together; this is ridiculous. Let's look up his other grades--5 F's! Let's definitely have a parent conference."

Then, the parent shows up, and occasionally I find out that my students are dealing with so many difficult situations in life, it's no wonder when students don't complete a stupid essay.

Ie: Found out a student like above has a 10-years-left-in-life prognosis (and some other things I won't go into). Shit. Every time I think about it, my eyes are welling up.

I Wish That I Knew What I Know Now

2009-11-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

Alright, I know I've told most of the dudes about this (except Clearwater... so this is news to you). Christmas Gift Challenge, should you choose to accept it:
Create a mix-cd for an as-yet unmade film to be directed by Wes Anderson. Title of the mix-cd will be title of the film. If desired, create liner notes/synopsis of the plot.
We'll get together to exchange said CD's with a good amount of holiday bev's, and listen to our mix-cds/party on down Apt. 108 style. You in?
Oh, and then, we'll send the whole set to Wes Anderson.

Dirty Projectors

2009-11-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

I feel like there's a ton going on that I want to blog about. Then I put it off a few days, and I'm at the point where I have about 10 posts simmering on the back burner. I'm going to post one every couple of days just to get them out there.

1) Dirty Projectors = Awesome.
Went and saw the Dirty Projectors with Hippy Steve and Meredith last saturday (Halloween). We walked through echo park, stopped for some street tacos at the place down the block (hands down, best street tacos in Echo park), and went to the early show at the Jensen Rec center. Little Wings opened, and it was my first time seeing them. The band played great, and even though I don't own any little wings albums, I still recognized a few songs (scooby's gone away, something like that).

The Dirty Projectors came on by 8:20 for an hour long set, mostly off Bitte Orca. It was incredible. Each member of the band has so much musical talent. The drummer was particularly impressive; he played like he was going to destroy the heads on his drums while keeping perfect time and tempo changes every other minute. The lead guitarist also really impressed me, reminded me of the guitarist from YES with some of his finger picking. One last note, one of the female vocalists suprised me by all of a sudden belting out a song like a soul singer from the seventies.

If you want to hear one of their songs, see the Iguana in the Sun mix below.

Back to School...

2009-09-29T21:35:00.001-07:00

I'm back in Lunch Lady Land... about midway through week three.

So far, I have to say that I've been very impressed with the current class. Things are off to a good start, my classroom feels pretty well managed -- at points I feel wildly successful -- of course, those highs last only so long, and the honeymoon may be slowly getting over.

Just a quick update...

Awesome things in life right now:

Free Opera Tickets given to Tisa and I by our landlady... pretty good seats, Elixir of Love, really good stuff.
Had a great time at the Bon Iver show celebrating Tisa's birth. They rocked alot harder than expected. Megafaun opened... I had never heard of them before, but having seen them, I really enjoyed they're banjo accompanied crooning.
Great students that have been polite and respectful, really great year so far.

Crappy things in life right now:

Bed bugs. Not fun. Check out this video if you have any doubts...

Back in lala land

2009-08-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

Tisa and I are back in LA after a great vacation in Yosemite with Tisa's family, and a couple days in Merced as a layover before heading home.

Tons of highlights throughout the trip, had a really nice time with everyone there, and was happy to have Brian meet us in Yosemite for a week.

Tops on the trip was a hike up to Cloud's Rest in the northern yosemite wilderness. 14.4 miles round-trip, pretty decent day hike. At the end, there's this awesome part with all these Granite slabs that ascend to the top, at one part, we walked along a five foot path next to the drop off (which probably descends about 4,000 feet to the valley). Pretty exhilerating. Phenomenal view of halfdome. I'll post some pictures as soon as they're uploaded.

Hometown

2009-07-17T22:26:00.001-07:00

Wrapping up a week in Sacto this evening, heading back to lala land tomorrow.
The week in review, a top ten list:

1. Tapas, then Mildly Mannered Millie, or some such musical, at Music Circus... really good actually, felt like I was back in the roaring twenties when Gatsby was bootlegging.
2. Rode bikes to Natomas Lake, jumped off a giant stump into the lake. Good times.
3. Merlino's Orange Freeze... changed its name, but the recipe remains the same: tons of sugar.
4. Rode bikes to Natomas Lake again. Rented stand-up paddle boards. Pretended to be Hawaiian for an hour.
5. Rafted down the Sacramento river today, those class I rapids were actually pretty fun. Felt like I was traveling down the Mississippi.
6. Mexican food with Mariachi's.
7. Lots of Ping Pong, a bit of tennis, and a bit of chess.
8. Stayed up until 5 a.m. reading American Shaolin, and learned alot about kung fu and chinese culture following the fall of Mao.
9. Breakfast with Clearwater and Bonnie in Davis... vegans eat less cheese.
10. Lots of quality time with Tisa, my parents, my brother, Grandma Lea, and Ruby.

All in all, had a pretty good-feeling time in Sac, hit up most of the nostalgia I remember from growing up near the river, and really enjoyed the time here. Next week, off to Yosemite to see Tisa's folks and a hike to Cloud's Rest.

CD of the New Financial Quarter

2009-07-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Now available.

Album Artwork to your left... print out... try to fold along lines. If that fails, make a paper boat and hold a race down by the river.

CD Title: an iguana in the sun
by: Various artists of the new financial quarter

You can download the tracks in one giant file by following this link (an Iguana in the Sun), filling in the text box, clicking download, waiting 25 seconds, then clicking download again. Or, you're welcome to listen below. Here's to iguana's, natures natural nurturer.

An Iguana in the Sun

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

Tisa and I went to the Hollywood Forever cemetery for a screening of Jaws this fourth of July. There were probably about 500 people or so there; we spread out our blanket, and had a nice picnic with some sangria. They have a DJ spinning tunes until it gets dark enough to show the movie, and this was probably the best remembrance of MJ's life that I've seen. Right before the movie came on, the DJ played a three song MJ set... starting with Jackson Five - ABC, moving onto Bus Stop, then ending with Thriller. As soon as Bus Stop started, at least 400 people just jumped up and started grooving and dancing in the cemetery. It was surreal and amazing (I've never seen anything like it in LA). Tisa and I jumped up and started dancing on our blanket, and I couldn't help but just look around in awe. People continued moving through Thriller... very fitting in the cemetery after dusk. As the fireworks went off in neighborhoods surrounding the area, people sat back and enjoyed the film. I actually felt a little sad that MJ passed, and really enjoyed sharing that moment with the other random people there.

Upcoming... other movies on saturdays and sundays at the cemetery... best time in LA by far.

Tip: Ride a bike there, they let you in pretty much first.

Soon: A sweet mix tape/CD for the summer that you can download... working on it now.

Ignorance

2009-06-15T11:54:00.001-07:00

I can't help but feel utterly frustrated by this city. Last night, as though to celebrate the NBA finals victory, hundreds of fans converged on the Staples center and essentially started a minor riot. On the news, videos showed people hurling rocks at the police, and throwing lit fireworks into the groups of officers.

I am embarrassed by the lack of dignity in L.A. While, hopefully, this is just a minor portion of the population who were engaged in this minor riot, I can't help but think that this behavior is indicative of the general mindset of this town. Obviously, many feel a certain enmity toward the police, but what gives anyone the excuse to attack police officers? In Los Angeles, the social consciousness dictates that what is right is defined by being self-centered. And, people seem to believe that as a celebration of superiority in sports, we can express our superiority over all those around us. Which means that we can defy even the police who are, for the most part, here to serve and protect us. Sadly, we need more police to be here to protect us from ourselves.

This self-centered philosophy is apparent throughout the city--in people's driving, in their loud music and disregard for their neighbors, and even in the general courtesies in the check-out line. God, this town is ignorant, and unashamed of showing it to the world. I can't wait to leave.

More pictures if you're interested...

The Tick!

2009-05-11T19:50:00.001-07:00

Ticks are pretty awesome, and not just because of the show on comedy central. And, in part homage and part elegy to one such creature, I have this story to tell:

Tisa and I took an 11 or 12 mile hike to wrap up spring break... this was four weeks ago, so I'm playing catchup on my blog. We left a car at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, then drove up to the Switzer picnic area to begin the hike. We figured, 11 miles or so, mostly downhill, meh! Not bad at all, right?

Well, 11 miles can take its toll... Tisa and I both ended up very sore (despite the 130 miles we had travelled by bike the week before). We passed through some really incredible areas, and only ran into one other hiker the the first 8 miles or so. Several ducks swarmed us as we crossed the stream, flying back and forth overhead, making the crossing quite difficult but memorable.

And, the last 4 miles or so, I began to feel like I had scraped my knee. Weird though, since I was wearing jeans, and had only leaned against one rock while taking a picture.

At home, we discovered the tick. Carefully embedded in my knee cap. After consulting numerous guides on what to do, I poured some vaseline on it, hoping it would crawl out for air. No luck. Then, I twisted and pulled, twisted and pulled, and eventually, I think I got him loose. Though, there still might be tick teeth in me. Which is always a nice souvenir.

Bike Trip: San Luis Obispo to Carpinteria

2009-04-05T15:05:00.001-07:00

So, I'm going to post each of my daily journals, alongside pictures of the trip.

Day 1: San Luis Obispo to Oceano (15 miles), Sat 3/28

Beautiful train ride, one of the most in my opinion. Tisa and I stayed up till almost 3 am the night before the trip getting our gear ready. The BOB was a ton of work - had to saw off part of the quick-release (necessitating a trip to Home Depotat 7 a.m. Saturday morning). On the train, there's a beautiful piece of countryside with houses on it between Gaviota and Lompoc (possible future home here?)

(my bike with the BOB attached)

(Tisa in Shell Beach)

The ride went well, and the BOB is getting more comfortable. At this point my lower back is very sore. The ride to Lompoc will be very challenging. Going uphill is NOT fun, but I'm getting used to it.(The campsite in Oceano)

Weird campsite in Oceano, but I like it. Probably only 15 sites, about 10 with trailers and no one outside. Huge lagoon / nature area right next door--bullfrogs all night. In the morning, Tisa saw a strange spider on the BOB bag, and flicked it off. I didn't think much of it at the time (found out otherwise later). Well, got to get ready for the ride to Lompoc! -K

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Day 2 - Oceano to Lompoc, 47 miles

We're taking it a little bit easier than we originally intended (had initially planned on a 60 mile day today, all the way to Gaviota). Woke up with high spirits--the neighbors in their camper brought over coffee! While the camp ranger was round, I opened my big mouth and subsequently found out that we hadn't stayed in the right campground. This cost us a trip back on the PCH to settle our accounts (which could have meant that we would have to pay for the night twice, once for our reserved campsite, once for the one we ended up in). Luckily someone had already paid for our site!

(Tisa drinking coffee in the campground)

Getting started was pretty rough, not used to the hills and the BOB. By Guadalupe, gusts of wind were crossing the farmland, making it tough to control the bike.

(Lunch in Guadalupe)

After leaving Guadalupe, the PCH headed inland, making the wind push us forward, and we had a smooth 15 miles through farms lined with green hills. Having a tail wind is awesome, it made the long ride seem much more manageable.

(farmland between Guadalupe and Lompoc)

(The Harris Grade)

Around 3:30 pm we turned onto the Harris Grade, a "600 ft. climb over 3.5 miles" (according to our Biking the Pacific Coast guidebook). This was intense, and clearly the toughest riding we've done since moving to LA. Windy streets all the way up the hill, with a minimal shoulder, and many blind corners. The hill was so steep that I spent the entire run of it in my highest gear. Tisa and I took several breaks on our way up.

(Tisa parked at the top of the Harris Grade)

On our way downhill, Tisa's back tire went flat--my first on the road tire changing. It took at least an hour, and while it was frustrating at the time (trying to pull the stiff rubber over the rim is tricky!), I felt pretty good after fixing it. There seems to be something romantic about fixing a flat on the side of the road (or so I imagined it prior to the trip). In reality it's about half romantic, half sheer frustration and cursing.

(Dinner in Lompoc)

We cruised into Lompoc very sore, tired, and cold. Set up camp and met another hiker biker named Roy (more about the colorful people we met later), then went to dinner at the Jalama Beach Cafe for a warm meal before bed. I love my wife for putting up with this adventure.

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Day 3 - Lompoc to Gaviota, 25 miles

Went pretty slow, taking it easy this day. While waking up in the tent, I saw some motion... SPIDER IN THE TENT! I jumped away and grabbed some tissue to kill it. Disaster averted... for now.

T and I packed up after sleeping in and went into Lompoc for groceries and a cup of coffee. Then, by about 2:30 pm, hit the road, turning onto the PCH for a 13.5 mile climb gaining 900 feet in elevation, our highest climb yet. The traffic was light, and frequently we could actually hear what each other were saying. This hill was exactly what I imagined for this trip... a steady bug gradual climb, huge shoulder, and beautiful green hills, semi-forested, broken only by the rare ranch on both sides of the road, as far as was visible. Cows along the road kept a close watch on us... they didn't bat an eye at the passing traffic, but they would all turn and watch as we slowly crept by up the hill. A few of the cows were quite amorous, making for a humorous day all around.

(Tisa next to the hills)

(The cows on the farms next to the PCH)

Surprisingly, despite our overwhelming ride the day before, my legs and back felt fine (until the last mile uphill. At the top we paused for a picture, then began the 2.5 mile, 7% grade down to the 101.

(A pause for a picture, right before our descent)

(The hill we rode down, pictured from below)

I white knuckled it, clutching my brakes desperately down the hill. Especially when the shoulder turned to gravel. I could hear my brakes change pitch as they heated up, but I didn't dare let go of them because of the control over the trailer. My frame is obviously not constructed for touring with weight, and due to that, I felt like the front tire had minimal traction on the road. This did make going down hill a bit tricky, because if I got off balance, or my front wheel hit gravel, I could easily end up over the handlebars.

We paused across the freeway to try and find the Gaviota hot springs. We started to hike up to the springs, then turned back because it was already close to 5:30 and we had a few more miles to make it to our campsite before dark.

We followed the 101 for about 3 miles to Gaviota at one point passing a roadside spedometer that clocked us at 13 or 14 miles an hour. It looked awesome, seeing our small speed posted on the busy freeway. Rode right past the bridge from The Graduate, then pulled into Gaviota state beach. Although the campsite was closed till April (two days away), the host let us camp there. The place was completely empty and at first this seemed like our own private camping vacation.

(T and I on the beach at Gaviota before dinner)

(The train tacks going over the beach in Gaviota)

But, that was by far the windiest night of the trip. By the time we ate dinner, we could hardly sit outside, and so moved into the tent. An eerie evening with shadows and weird sounds. Otherwise slept well and enjoyed waking up in our own private campground.

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Day 4 - Gaviota to Carpinteria - 45 miles

Well, this was our last day of touring, about 45 miles, so we woke up early to get a jump start on the day. Despite our ambitions, it still took until 11:00 am before we hit the road.

As Tisa was packing, five or six of the same spiders were all over the saddlebags. This was the last of our spider adventures. It was weird, freaked us both out. Were there eggs in our stuff? Why are they following us?

The first 20 miles or so were gruelling; hills that are hardly noticeable by car are challenges by bike along the 101. Traffic was relatively heavy, and despite the serene view of the ocean, we could hardly hear ourselves over the clamor of semis and trucks passing us just a few feet away.

(The coastline along the 101)

At refugio beach, we took the off-ramp to see if the bike path to El Capitan beach was open, down the hill to the ranger station just to read the sign saying the bike path was closed. Bummer. So, continued on to Goleta (Hollister Exit), the rest of our travel would be on streets and bike paths making a much more pleasant ride.

(Baja Fresh sounded too good for lunch... guess we aren't really purists).

Once we got towards Santa Barbara, we passed a beautiful area--half suburban, half rural--houses intermixed with farms, all within the city of Goleta. Some streets had equestrian trails alongside the shaded bike lanes, very enjoyable ride. However, almost as though the stretch of the 101 drained us, we were very tired and had difficulty pushing the last 20 miles. Through Santa barbara and onto a bike path along the ocean with stunning wildflowers and views of the waves.

(Part of the bike path along the ocean in Santa Barbara)

The guidebook listed one short steep hill, which we had been dreading all day (after having severely underestimated the 600 foot climb two days before). Luckily, since the guidebook had been written, a new bike path had been built, totally circumventing the ascent, and taking us right into the small town of Summerland, a quaint, upscale community with antique shops, restaurants, and wine tasting. The last of these being closed for the day, we pushed on to Carpinteria, following a bike path with a huge biking culture. We probably saw more bikers thank cars, all wearing the latest gaudy gear. We passed some giant Polo fields, then coasted into the campsite. The hiker-biker sites were tucked behind a fence, making T and I look like hippy squatters. After setting up camp, we went back into town for pizza, beer, and wine, a reward for the end of our 125 mile adventure.

(Our campsite in Carpinteria, clearly the nicest of the campsites we stayed in)

(Sitting on the beach the next day, taking it easy before our train back to LA).

Diaz's Dominican Republic

2009-04-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

I quite enjoyed The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao; not only did I learn a ton about the DR (or Dominican Republic for all of you who haven't read Yunior's narrative), but I also found the writing refreshing--this is clearly literature, and it's uplifting that actual literature has been a best-seller.

The story covers Oscar Wao's family curse. Wao's maternal grandfather had insulted Trujillo, dictator for some thirty plus years in the DR responsible for genocide of the Haitians as well as a curtain of ignorance cutting off the island from the rest of the world. The story begins with the story of Wao, then works backwards through Wao's sister's history, his mother's childhood, then his maternal grandparents lives several generations before, then returns to Wao's college life and post-college career. This curse has become most focused in the character of Oscar, who is a severely overweight, sci-fi/fantasy uber nerd who is the accidental hero of the story. His grail (or as he would put it, his one ring)? Finding a woman who would love him back.

All I knew about the book prior to reading it was that it could be compared to The Great Gatsby; and I didn't really understand why till I had almost finished. The narrator, much like Nick Carroway, is more of an observer than a part of the conflict, one who is chronicaling something far more important than his own pitiful existence. I say pitiful because Nick Carroway is reprehensible. Similarly, Yunior (the narrator of Diaz's novel) is a contemptible creation: a cocky womanizer with minimal vision outside of his own sphere of existence. I wondered then, and continue to wonder now, if Yunior is actually named "Junior" but due to Oscar's DR accent, Yunior has no choice but to appropriate Oscar's pronunciation in the dialogue. Interesting, but more of a side note than actual thought about the novel.

At first, I was very turned off by Yunior's voice. I was reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn with my English class at the same time, and while I consider the use of the "n word" absolutely essential to the time period of Finn, I thought Diaz was using it excessively. That, mixed with heavy DR slang and historical footnotes made the book very difficult to understand at first. I truly enjoyed reading it once I had grappled enough with the language and had covered enough of the plot to understand the dynamic of the story.

I enjoyed the chronology of the story... by going back through the family's past, I felt very connected to Oscar, and also understood the reverence placed on the curse that Yunior describes. But, as the story progressed, I began to really enjoy the similarities with One Hundred Years of Solitude by Marquez. The two definitely have the magical realism elements, and it seems to me that Diaz clearly evokes the same style of story-telling by going on long side tangents and footnotes that seem to deviate from the plot, but provide extensive backstory and character motivation that enrich and enliven the story.

Enough of the literary critique. As a read, I found the book enjoyable and informative. I had no understanding of the history of the DR prior to the read... afterwards, I was surprised to find that such horrible travesties had been committed so close to our country. The book has some intense scenes that truly show the cruelty of Trujillo's regime (and even typing this now makes me wonder if I'm bringing the curse on myself).

I also really liked the story of Oscar's search for love. But, to some extent, Yunior's voice clouded the more noble search for fulfilling love with the less noble search for sex. This made me a little sad because it seemed like turning a positive goal into a more base hormonal craze, but is realistic. To some extent, most American males are obsessed with sex. So, while I thought this took away from Oscar's character, I guess it also is just another way that Yunior is affecting the story he chronicals.

All in all, I enjoyed the book. I would definitely recommend it to many (namely my brother), and thanks Mike for passing it my way. I think I'll need to re-read it at some point to understand more of the inner-workings of the novel.

______________________

The next few posts are going to be the journals I wrote on Tisa's and my bike adventure. We made it 125-130 miles, and it was MUCH more difficult than I anticipated. Not sure if we actually enjoyed ourselves, but it was an awesome trip.

Also, I'm reading a Nicolas Sparks book, and I'm quite embarrassed about it right now (plus, it's actually pretty good).

Top of the Mornin' To You!

2009-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share an old favorite of mine off the Onion. Happy St. Patrick's Day (note: I hope that I have at least one message on my phone today from someone singing "Danny Boy" at any cadence or pitch of the singer's preference).

Upcoming Bike Tour

2009-03-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

This is the tentative route that Tisa and I will be taking in the first week of April. We're planning about 200-230 mile bike tour of the coast from San Luis Obispo to L.A. Buying the bike trailer tomorrow so that we can tow our stuff. We're pretty damn excited. It's going to be awesome, camping along the way, probably biking around 50-60 miles a day. This weekend, we started upping our training. took a nice 25 mile ride up to Pasadena and back, really great ride. I'm pretty sure we can handle about 40-50 miles in a day, but we're going to be very tired! We rode to church today (about 5-7 miles), and I had my first experience really riding the day after a longish ride. Phew... Tisa and I both felt it... serious pains in the rear... saddle-soreness, and a bit of tight muscles. Man, we're going to need some more training before this trip! But, here's what's really cool, at some point today, about 3/4 of the way to church, I stopped noticing how sore I was. Tisa noticed the same thing. Hopefully it's similar on the trip. ANd also, hoping we aren't trying to go in way above our heads.

Started reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Diaz. Pretty interesting beginning, will post more about it later. (Still finishing The Boat by Nam Le, which has been pretty good overall). Thanks Mike for the book, Merry X-Mass.

uber productivity

2009-02-25T15:23:00.001-08:00

I had an uber productive day.

First off, a little pat on the back... I seriously motivate kids to write. Today, this was my lesson plan--"EAP Diagnostic Essay." All I did was put an essay prompt on table at the back of the room. By the time class began, I was already telling them how important this essay was. That's all it took. 35-40 minutes of solid writing from everyone in the class. It's at moments like these that I realize how awesome my students are. They trust me when I say, "Yes, I know writing is tough, and isn't always the most fun thing to do, but we need to do it to get better, and we've only got one month before the big test." Total buy in on their part. It's awesome.

So, while they were testing, I made a huge list of things I had to do... and all but one are now crossed off and it's midway through my last class of the day. Which gives me enough time to blog.
See, the problem has been a current obsession with online chess. It's totally turning into an addiction. I try to justify it because chess seems like a pretty good thing to be addicted to. But, I'm seriously daydreaming about awesome moves I had two days ago. And, in my classroom, I have access to Yahoo's online chess player. SHIT! It's become increasingly difficult to get work done at work, and totally taking up personal time. Even now, talking about it, I get minor shots of adrenaline thinking about how great it feels to win or how it feels to make an utterly demolishing move.

While I'm on this thought, I should probably also mention that writing a blog about being uber production and uber obsessed with chess clearly qualifies me as an uber nerd. Just watch. By my next blog, I'm going to be wearing suspenders. I'll be the Stephen Urkel of the blogging world. Of course, he was so nerdy that he built a machine to change him into the super cool Stephan Urrkell (pronounced much cooler, obviously). I'm pretty much the opposite... drifting into further and further nerdiness. That's assuming I was cool to begin with.

Did I do that?

Been a long time, here's an update...

2009-02-03T11:35:00.001-08:00

So, I haven't blogged at all for a while... thought I'd just throw up a few thoughts to talk about what I've been up to and what I'm looking forward to...

Music I'm listening to... I'm pretty stoked about this, ask Tisa how much I actually talk about it. On Slacker media player and purchased one about a month and a half ago. For a while I was pretty frustrated with it, but they recently added a software update and it fixed all the glitches. Basically, the thing is like Pandora, on the go. It connects wirelessly, and downloads around two hours of all of my customized stations. It's awesome, and I've found a bunch of new music that I didn't know about beforehand. I didn't know I like Kings of Leon. Turns out I do. I also didn't know I like Blonde Redhead so much. Turns out I do. I'm going to post a mix cd pretty soon of the sweet stuff I've been listening to. Stay tuned.

Life with the wife... is pretty sweet. Taught Tisa how to play chess last night... I'm trying to curb my online chess addiction by playing chess with Tisa, it's working pretty well. Tisa's still at Cal state LA, but looks like her student teaching will be at my high school, really awesome. We saw Volver the other night; I thought it was hilarious.

At school, the students are ok. I felt alot more connected with last year's class, but this year's crop is growing on me. We're starting Huck Finn next week, which is a little stressful because it didn't sell as well last year. This year should be really good though, the kids are very bright (they're just a little unmotivated).

Looking forward to:
Valentine's day... camping with the wife somewhere along the coast...
Reading Speed of Dark with my modest faculty book club... full of medical ethics... if they cure autism, should the cure be forced on a person with autism?
Drinking... various cocktails that I'm creating using a book Tisa gave me for christmas. Making a pretty darn tasty Cosmopolitan and Manhattan at this point.
Really distant future? Tisa and I keep talking about trying to apply for a teaching job with the Department of Defense... ideally at the same high school in italy or germany.

Well, hope everyone out there is doing well, give me a ring and I'll tell you all about my slacker player.

Never thought this day would happen...

2008-12-12T11:31:00.001-08:00

But, teaching today has been literally boring. Students are all working, they seem relatively motivated, and they're dissecting "Fall of the House of Usher" by Edgar Allen Poe, which is one of my favorite stories of all time. And, yet, for some reason, they're all working almost independently, and there's no behavior issues. I have nothing to do. It's like I'm not even needed here. I could walk out and go get coffee and come back, and everyone would have finished their work then fallen asleep. That's just how boring it is in here.

I put on the Rolling Stones to liven things up. It makes me feel more excited, but everyone else is boring.

Later in the lesson it gets more exciting... we'll be stealing poe's language and creating our own "gothic" creative writing pieces. I'll post my "gothic" beginning soon.

Book Review: The Pale Blue Eye

2008-11-27T12:38:00.000-08:00

Just finished reading The Pale Blue Eye by Louis Bayard... it's a novel set in the early 1800s at West Point. It's a whodunnit with a narrator that is similar to a retired Sherlock Holmes. But, to assist him with the mysterious murder at West Point, he enlists the help of a cadet, Edgar Allen Poe.

I have to say that my love of Poe's literature drew me to the book, and in that respect, I found some great joy in finding little snippets and allusions to Poe's various works. Bayard definitely took the time to create Poe and the time period with an immense care for details and vocabulary. At a few times, I was wary of the use of Poe as a character and of Bayard's book being stilted by forcing allusions to Poe's literature. However, Poe actually became a very realistic character in the pages; I grew to love how Poe would quote literature, compose poetry, and tell outlandish lies.

One allusion did irk me; it used a major plot point to pay homage to a part of "The Fall of the House of Usher," and it did not feel cohesive to the plot of Bayard's story. Along those lines, a few points of the plot were questionable... the author kept a few secrets too long, which was a strength and weakness to the book. Some reviewers were so thrown that they ended up hating the story, and some ended up loving it. I think I fall in between--not loving the book, but genuinely enjoying many parts of it.

Overall, I have to say that I enjoyed reading this. It would probably not be my first book to recommend, except of course to a few select people... some mystery readers or Poe afficianados. I'll probably read his most recent book, The Black Tower, at some point in the near future. For now, I still am lingering over parts of the book and enjoying that glimpse into gothic 1800s.

Letters of Rec

2008-11-23T19:40:00.001-08:00

USC sent a representative to the high school where I teach. The woman stressed the significance of writing better letters of rec... showing examples of form letters, and a letter from a prep school in L.A. So, now I'm holding myself to a higher standard for writing these utterly rediculous letters. In order to clear my mind, I find it helps to talk about the student the way they truly are... Here's my most recent.

I am writing to recommend Tenaya for acceptance in the freshmen class in the fall of 2009. I am her former English/Language Arts teacher, and over the past year and a half, I have learned a lot about Tenaya’s integrity and commitment to her education. I believe that Tenaya would make an excellent addition to USC—she will excel in her classes, and will consistently contribute to student activities. She hates cheerleaders.
One thing I quickly learned about Tenaya was that she hates cheerleaders on campus. See, frequently, cheerleaders get special treatment—front of the lunch line, pulled out of boring English classes for pep rally preparation, and other perks of the high school female world. In the midst of a class discussion on archetypes and satire, Tenaya blurted out “oh, like how all cheerleaders are fricking idiots, and like to sleep around.” This is the kind of attitude that USC thrives on… the elitist mentality prevalent among its students that keeps USC from entering the realm of educational greatness that all universities strive for. But, along with eliteness, Tenaya demonstrated an aptness for satirical writing, because she has learned two qualities that cheerleaders frequently possess—bitchiness and sluttiness.
I hope my letter has persuaded you that Tenaya should be admitted. She will definitely stand out in USC’s white-bread, northern-european, pretentious educational atmosphere. Yours truly, an English teacher.

grading

2008-11-20T14:48:00.001-08:00

Way too much grading to do. Themes of the Crucible rattling through my head. I don't want to work right now, and I don't feel like reading a billion essays that are sortof mediocre.

King's Canyon

2008-11-16T13:43:00.001-08:00

Two weeks ago, Tisa and I went to King's Canyon in Sequoia National Park to stay at my godfather's cabin. It was amazing... the first picture shows the cabin we stayed in. Caught up on plenty of rest, and played games at night. Went for a few long walks, saw a waterfall, and some giant sequoia's in Grant's Grove - they are friggin' huge. On the last morning, it snowed. Amazing, and can't wait to go back. We'll need to get a group together and stay there.

Dave's Cabin

Very necessary fire every night.

Tisa jumping into the waterfall.

Snow, the morning we were getting ready to leave.

Outdoors

2008-11-16T09:23:00.001-08:00

Tisa and I went on a few trips recently... both were simply amazing, and I thought I'd post a few pictures to share them with you. About three weeks back, we went backpacking into Angeles Crest, following the Santa Anita Canyon Trail. The trail is not overly difficult, and is only three miles and a half miles to the backpacking campsite, making it excellent. Here are some pictures of the things we saw...

This is the "fire ring" at the campsite. It's sortof an old-timey stove with a chimney. It doesn't make for a nice, sit-around-the-campfire feel, but it did keep us warm.

On our way to camp.

This is just one of these awesome, tiny cabins that you pass on your way through the canyon. It's pretty rustic, and awesome, right off the main hiking trail.

Our tent... finally got to try out all our new gear.

Damn igoogle left tabs

2008-10-16T14:27:00.001-07:00

So, I almost just threw my computer against a wall... I signed out of google, then signed back in, and Lo and behold, my igoogle tabs were on the left, taking up space. If you've had this happen, you know what I'm talking about. I freaked out, and it almost took a half hour to fix it. I'm posting this as a quick fix for anybody else who deals with this.
Go to your igoogle home page,
Then, up in your address bar, insert the following:
javascript:_dlsetp('v2=0');
That will reload your older version, with the tabs at the top. Phew. Disaster averted. Gotham city saved.

My Honda; Civic Duty

2008-10-07T20:11:00.001-07:00

Ok, so the title's a misnomer. I served Jury Duty yesterday... didn't get placed on a jury, and only was placed in one jury pool. Went into the court case, and the judge explains that the case could take four to six weeks. Man, I freaked out. I've been on one jury before, and actually enjoyed the experience. I was actually thinking, "Hey... I've got some jury days to spare... I wouldn't mind taking a week or two off work, getting some extra sleep, and calling in a sub. Sweet deal!' But after hearing that I could be on a jury for six weeks, I started panicking. Luckily, in this case, the judge was really understanding and excused everyone who claimed that the case would cause a financial hardship. Out of the thirty or forty of us called into the room, only one woman remained for the actual jury selection. Phew.
I must say though, jury duty in L.A. is not bad. You get free admission to the MOCA with your badge (so I checked out some sweet artwork), and you can postpone your date to a comfortable time. In this case, the comfortable time was the exact same week that Tisa postponed her jury service. So we sat, enjoyed a nice cup of coffee, and hung out in the back of the jury room for the morning. Plus, we found some new sweet spots in downtown for relaxing and for good food. All in all, a pretty swell deal.

Figaro Figaro Fig-a-ro

2008-09-28T15:42:00.001-07:00

Went to see the opera friday evening with Tisa for her birthday. It was my first experience at an opera, and it was amazing. We had the back row of the balcony seats, and the tops of the chairs in front of us were rubbing against our toes. In fact, walking to our seats, it felt like one misstep would send us tumbling over the railing and into the orchestra. But man, what an awesome experience. The opera was called Il Trittico (The Triptych), and had three different performances. The first was a love-affair-gone-wrong story, the second was a disgraced-woman-becomes-a-nun-because-she-had-an-illegitimate-child story, and the last was a farce about a rich Italian's death, directed by none other than Woody Allen.
I was surprised that they had a screen above the stage that translated most of the major lines. I was also surprised that two people saying they like to have a glass of wine after work (or some other trite statement) can sound like the most dramatic event in a lifetime. And, I was also surprised to enjoy it so much. The music was wonderful, and even sitting way up on the balcony, I felt like the seats were amazing.
Also, Woody Allen? Really funny director. The Italians were grossly following stereotypical "Italian" things. One couple kept making out on one side (his face was planted in between her bosoms), and another actor came on stage with a full mafia get-up. Really enjoyable performance all around.
One last thing I really liked about the performance was the audience's reaction. After every act, the audience would clap like it was the most amazing thing they had ever seen. It made me really glad to listen to a group of people so appreciative of an art form. For a brief moment, I was even glad to be living in L.A.

Where did my last post go?

2008-09-28T15:40:00.001-07:00

I put up a huge post ranting and reflecting about my last week. Now it's gone. That's shitty. Shitty I google tool.

Economic Misgivings

2008-09-17T12:03:00.001-07:00

Sort of crazy all the financial stuff in the news these last couple days. Don't really know what to make of it. AIG and Freddy Mac and Sally Mae all tanking and getting taken over by the government. Also crazy how much of it is caused by the sub-prime mortgage collapse. It freaks me out that three of the biggest private financial institutions were on the brink (or the beginning of the end) of bankruptcy. It makes me wonder if we're heading towards another depression. I'm not worried about my job or anything, but is the dollar going to just plummet as a ton of money is loaned by the government (who is just borrowing from China)? What about all that money I was saving for a down payment on a house? Perhaps I'll actually get to live my dream--scrooge mcduck's money pit, and a diving board. I think that despite the current crazyness in Iraq and all the hype over the political conventions, economic policy will be the most important issue for voters in november. Sorry to get so serious, just some thoughts. Freaky though, huh?

social darwinism, capitilism, and other bull

2008-09-12T21:11:00.001-07:00

Was talking with Tisa today about how f'd up this country is. We have successfully developed a culture that ignores its infirm and does its damn best to sweep the elderly, the sick, and the mentally ill under the carpet. Homeless people? Not in my backyard.
Anyways, was getting pretty fired up about it and made some grandiose claims. Like it all stems from capitalism (which is pretty much an older version of the idea of social darwinism). Basically, we give individuals and companies the ability to make as much money as they want. Being fabulously, ludicrously wealthy is considered a "right" because of the "free" market. And, in order to stay on top, these same companies and individuals need to take advantage of the weak and infirm. Heck, in order to be successful, Walmart can't provide health care for their employees! Because success is measured in dollars: corporate profits and rich CEOs. What's interesting is what is not considered success in a corporation or an individual... kindness, compassion, and caring for humanity. Since we have a "right" to be rich, corporations are enabled to commit crimes against humanity... paying people less, not providing them benefits, and otherwise stiffing the working man.

Alright, call it a rant. But hey, if we really wanted our society to be socially just, why not make all companies non profits? Or even just start with the oil companies? He he he.

And while we're at it, why not do this... instead of falling for the semi-popular opinion that people are greedy, and if you give them too many opportunities, they'll just take advantage of others; why not err on the side of caring for the weak and the infirm. Provide possibilities and homes for the homeless, and help care for the poor and elderly. Sure, some people will take advantage of the system, but I'd rather see people cared for than see them left adrift by a society that views almost limitless individual or corporation wealth as success without realizing the necessity for a social contract of responsibility for the marginalized.

Was this Rousseu's idea? Locke? I don't remember. But if so, I agree with them.

F'ing Aple

2008-09-08T21:56:00.001-07:00

Finally called my old financial aid office at LMU to discuss the application for the Aple grant -- a forgiveness program to help me pay off my loan because I teach at an urban high school. Fucking... shit. Found out that the only way to apply for the APLE grant is WHILE enrolled for the credential. So, because I didn't apply three years ago, I can't get my giant student loan forgiven at all. Really shitty. I'm really happy I decided to go to grad school at a private university, so that I could owe a bank 40 or more thousand dollars for the next thirty years of my life. Just to get a teaching credential. So, yeah, moral of the story... whoever my financial aid advisor was will be sore tomorrow.

Kelly Gallagher = Genius

2008-09-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

Just had to say. Used some of his techniques for teaching writing today, and I'm excited by my students' work. Gave them a revision assignment, and EVERYONE got silent, totally "pimping" their writing (as I call it in class). Such a great practice, and so good for my students.

Just finished

2008-09-02T17:55:00.001-07:00

Just finished reading David Mitchell's Number9Dream which is all one word like blood, water, and gasoline in a clearwater poem. Man, f'ing A, really good book, with only one or two parts that I was questioning as a reader. Not too into the ending, but overall really good.

It's basically about this 20 year old named Eiji in Tokyo who is searching for his father who he has never met. It blends dreams with the reality of the plot so seamlessly, at times I found myself trying to figure out if parts were just fantasy of the main character or the true story that he was living. It's fun reading such a play on reality, and every chapter has at least two "realities."

I've made my way through 3 of Mitchell's four books this year, and am really enjoying them. I'll probably read the first (last on my list), Ghostwritten at some point in the next few months. While I'm working my way in a backwards chronology of his works, I'm seeing the ideas he carried from book to book, and really digging it. Anyways, really good stuff, I highly recommend it.
I'm starting a book club at my high school for faculty; sending our the preliminary email tomorrow. I think we'll read The Book Theif, which came out sometime recently. Don't know the author, but it sounds pretty good.

Reading and Writing

2008-09-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

So, just a quick vent for today. I spent the last few weeks reading Kelly Gallagher's Teaching Adolescent Writers. The author is pretty much THE english teacher that I wish I could be... he's really intelligent, and his books taught me more about teaching English than any of my Master's coursework. In any case, after completing the book, I am realizing one of the major faults with our system is the idea that reading and writing should both be taught in the subject called English. This is absolutely ludicrous. The two are completely different skills, and even though writing makes a person a better reader, and reading makes a person a better writer, there is no way to sufficiently teach both of these skills within a school year. I think that it would be far better to split the two, and instead of having a block class, have a different writing and reading class. Of course there would be overlap; students need to read models of what they are trying to write. And, students need to write to help process their thoughts about literature. But man, it would be phenomenal to actually divide up these skills and make them taught in separate classes in high school. Thoughts?

First Day of School

2008-08-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Started today with students, spent most of last week prepping. So far off to a pretty decent start, but I'm realizing that I really don't like this part of the school year. I can't wait for the part of the year when I know who everyone is, and know what to expect from them. Right now, it seems like every little thing might be a test, and it's difficult to know what to squash and what to let go. So far so good. Read the cat in the hat twice (the cat is symbolic of the Id, and the fish is the superego...) three more times to go. Oh, and this year I get third period prep, which means, early dismissal two days each week. Woo hoo!

Bottle Shock

2008-08-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

Saw the movie Bottle Shock last night with Tisa, and snuck in a fine water bottle full of 2 buck chuck's cabernet from 2005. It was aged perfectly, and tasted amazing, with hints of blackberry and chocolate, and a suitably strong cab finish. Not that I really know that much about wine tasting or being a wine connoisseur, but the movie definitely made me want to be a little more knowledgeable about different tastes of wine. Enjoyed the movie, and I'd definitely recommend it if you're in the mood for a feel-good, go-california listen to the doobie brothers, based-on-a-true-story sort of movie. Great scenery too, reminded me of Sideways. Clearwater would really enjoy it, as would Drew Solitieri, especially after working in Napa.

Lolita

2008-08-16T16:35:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading Nabokov'sLolita two nights ago. Was always so scared to read the book. Figured that if I felt a tingling in my groin while reading about some explicit scene involving a pre-teen that I was perverted and doing something gravely wrong. This time, just figured that hell, if some part of it turned me on, it's because it's erotica--it's supposed to turn people on. That being said, I ended up appreciating a lot of the book; it was exciting to read, and kept me anticipating the next scene or chapter. I felt many different emotions while reading it... of course my groin tingled, but I also felt disgusted (of course) by the blatant dirtiness of Humbert Humbert (the main character), and I also felt slightly sympathetic toward his overwhelming love/obsession/utter depravity/minutely redeeming parts of his character. Overall, I'd recommend the book, it definitely has it's really despicable moments, but Humbert's voice is so interesting that you have to keep reading. Also, I always assumed it was such a "European" book, only to find that it actually is mostly set in America, and has some sense of being a "Great American Novel," with some chapters that sum up the family road trip so well (except in Lolita, there's a molester involved). Looking forward to seeing the movie at some point to compare it with the book.

MP3 players in schools

2008-04-01T15:03:00.001-07:00

I believe I just solved any classroom management issues; however, my solution goes against school policy and my administration.
Almost all my students have MP3 players. During school hours, no student is allowed to use their MP3 player... to the disadvantage of the teachers and the students. It is silent in my classroom. Nobody is talking. I mean, nobody. About 100% of my students are working, except for apathetic Anthony, who usually doesn't complete work anyways. I feel victorious. I am able to spend time blogging and doing my own writing, while all my students are writing. This is phenomenal and unheard of.
More and more, educators push for technology in the classroom--smart boards, intellipads, computers... and yet, mp3's are dismissed.
Well... the class was wrapping up so I really didn't finish my thoughts. In any case, as long as students are completing work independently, I'm all for individual MP3 players.

Old Posts

2008-03-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

Old Posts of mine, recorded here for posterity.

character assassination

This will not be an elaborate blog. The idea’s interesting though, and I want to hear your thoughts on it.

I went to dinner with my roommate last night, and with some serious introspection, realized something important, but first some background.

Hubris is the ancient Greek idea of excessive pride that leads to a character’s demise. I had always thought that this aligned ancient Greek mindsets with Christian faith where pride is the worst of the deadly sins (lust was the least offensive deadly sin, which means that it’s okay that I looked at porn once today). But really, it didn’t mean that pride was a negative quality and humility a positive quality. All it meant was that excessive pride could cause disasters.

So, within the context of literature, the character could be proud and good would occur because pride was a strength up to a certain point. Which means that excessive pride could be a character’s strength and weakness at the same time.

Extend this concept beyond literature. What if all of us have these character strengths? Then, the strongest of our strengths is our biggest weakness at the same time. And you could imagine all people, say around us in a restaurant, interacting, their strength being a double-edged invisible sword that could cut apart another person or themselves. I can see it during a conversation, where this part of each personality clashes as a sword against the other, each unaware that their sword could hurt his/herself.

My roommate and I examined our personalities for this duality. Thinking about the trait that could be so strong that it could be a weakness at the same time.

Mine would be empathy or sensitivity. I feel like I can immediately identify with anyone, in any situation. I could be in his/her shoes, and I could feel his/her misery, happiness, or contentedness. But at the same time, this is my weakness. I’m uncomfortable when I perceive another’s unhappiness. Here’s a trivial example. Perhaps I host a party some evening. Trying to revel with a large group at my apartment, I find myself frequently concerned that the music is disturbing all the other apartment residents nearby. It will take up a significant amount of my attention, and I will by trying to redirect my friends (unbeknowest to them) to areas where we will be the least disturbing. (I don’t think I’ve explained this well… I apologize. It’s difficult to criticize yourself and confess a true experience of this weakness).

Or perhaps, this example will be better. I can’t count the number of times when a girl has ended our relationship where I find myself apologizing. They’re explaining how they’re in a difficult time in their lives, how blah blah blah… all these things are going wrong and they don’t want me to be brought down by these circumstances. “It’s not fair to you,” they say. And I apologize… I say, “I’m so sorry that all these things are happening in your life.” I apologize for their mothers’ angry words, their irritible bowels, their pet’s deaths, their lost toothbrushes. (I think that example makes more sense). I apologize for the world, truly feeling their sense of loss, anger, sadness, etc., while not realizing that 1) I'm upset, and 2) A lost toothbrush is surmountable in a relationship.

Now, I turn this blog over to you, the reader. What’s your biggest personality strength? How could it be your weakness? Leave it as a comment on my empathetic confessional at the end of this blog.

on being a Romantic

Today, I heard that buried treasure is all but found on Robinson Crusoe Island, off the coast of South America. Researchers used modern technology to find three high-concentrations of gold on the island made famous by the story of Selkirk, the real-life character of Robinson Crusoe. According to their instruments, the treasure hunters have detected hundreds of pounds of gold coins and possibly Incan treasure. (The story can be found on Yahoo News)

Something in the story made my mind associate wildly. I couldn’t shake the idea of all these locals and foreigners quitting their jobs and going straight to the island by any means. By now, these treasure hunters are scouring the island, searching every square inch for the treasure.

Treasure hunting. Buried treasure. Incan gold. Spanish gold.

Each one keeps rattling around in my head making me think that these ideas approach the old vision of the romantic. Today, we assume that a romantic is some kind of sap that believes in love at first sight, sunsets, and mushy letters. It’s a term that has changed far from what it used to mean. Romantics were once dreamers, visionaries, prophets who held uncommon and unpopular convictions.

Think Ponce de Leon… truly believing in the fountain of youth and chasing it throughout South and Central America. Think of Galileo chucking objects out of a tower to prove that gravity accelerated at a constant rate. Think of Leonardo, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Edison. Guevera. Kerouak. Each wholeheartedly followed a belief whether true or false. They would have an idea and chase it, everything and anything else in life could be damned.

Are you a dreamer? Are you a romantic? Are you a visionary/incendiary prophet/soothsayer of truth that’s stranger then our everyday imaginations?

I’m not.

And if you’re American, you probably aren’t either. I’m thinking that our basic, intrinsic American ideals hold the old Romantic in check. They glorify an “American Dream”—a rags to riches account of a middle-class house with a white picket fence, kids, a mini-van, and mediocrity, which, with a careful mix in a department store blender, will equal happiness.

The visionary and dreamer are un-American because they have different ideas of happiness. The romantics desire the self-fulfilling glory of proving their outlandish convictions. They are mostly crazy. And their contributions advance society and culture far beyond your everyday American achievements, like when I feel happy because I have made my own lunch.

Five minutes of romantic thoughts later, I heard another striking news report. Two doctors went against the entire medical community because they believed that bacteria, not stress, caused ulcers. One was so sure of this that he gave himself an ulcer by drinking a liquid that contained the bacteria. (This story can be found here on Yahoo News)

He is a Romantic.

But I’m not.

If I had the same inspiration and faith, I would probably leave tomorrow on my crummy bike with my sleeping bag and the clothes I’d be wearing, quit my job, and write a novel while biking to Chile to discover buried treasure. But, for some reason I think I’ll find happiness when I own a house and a minivan. “Still humping the American dream,” said Hunter S. Thompson. I think I know what he means.

Earrigation

Dear Doctor's Choice,

This is an informal business letter. It's informal because this is a personal matter. However, my personal story contains some discussion of a product of yours.

Recently, I discovered that I had a large amount of earwax attempting to take over my outer ear. I decided to purchase your fine earwax removal system.

Being somewhat new to the process of earwax removal, I decided to get the most elaborate kit possible in order to insure the success of the procedure. I also wanted to buy one that would work; I needed some legitimacy on the packaging.
Kit
Luckily, a doctor had chosen your brand, which appealed to my desire for an expert opinion on my ear. Also, your kit seemed to contain the most items. It fit all my needs in one amazing box.

I read the instructions thoroughly during a quiet evening at home (it seems to be fairly easy to have quiet evenings at home when you're single and can't hear what women are saying to you). I must say that your instructions were incredibly well detailed. Your fastidious account of my earwax removal process was thorough and complete. To summarize, the first instruction was that the tip of the applicator should not enter my ear canal. "Excellent," I thought, "the applicator, which must be one of these four items, is going nowhere near my ear canal." The instructions continued by suggesting I place 5 to 10 drops of the solution in my ear (I carefully measured the amount by adjusting three mirrors to watch the process) for several minutes (I timed the several on my watch).

Removing_waxI dipped the bulbous instrument that I assumed to be the "ear syringe" in a glass of warm water, then proceeded to shoot water in my ear. I was sitting up in a chair, using the plastic vessel to catch the water as it left my ear. Amazingly, all the water landed in the plastic vessel. None of it was on my shirt! Can you believe that? None of that weird greasy solution was on my shirt either! My face was not even dripping!

I was so enamored with the experience that I tried it again and again, twice daily for the next four days. The package described a "crackling" noise I would hear as the product worked. The noise eluded me, but I sought it so! This earwax removal gig is not drugs or alcohol, but its definitely addicting!

Ah! Hindsight is twenty/twenty. I recently discovered that my earwax was particularly resilient to your product (as some people’s earwax inevitably is). I did, however, put it to the ultimate test by sleeping with an exact 5 to 10 drops in my ear. It yielded no results. So your product is not for me, despite my intense desire to be your loyal spokesperson.

Even had I known the names of the contents of the package, even had I owned a diagram to show me how to tilt my ear to help aid irrigation, and even had I left the solution in for more then 5 minutes to see if it would work right, the removal procedure would have been thwarted by my hearty earwax.

So, Doctor whose Choice I chose, I bid you happy trails. Your product will surely fall into the hands of another person, like myself, who finds himself completely at the whim and mercy of the directions on over-the-counter health aids. With luck, he too will end up with a clean shirt, and if the product works for him, a clean ear!

Sincerely,

Kevin Cassidy

Fear and Insignificance on Catalina Island

This blog is months overdue, and I suppose, unnecessary because it’s not an update on my life. Rather, it’s about my feelings about 3 months ago, which could be entirely worthless for some of you to read, particularly if you ever feel very immense fears that are difficult to describe.

Over memorial day weekend, my roommate and I went to Catalina Island. We kayaked from Avalon to Two Harbors, about eight miles a day.

The technicalities of the trip are unimportant now. Had I written this blog then, I would have talked about our lack of plans… getting campsite and kayak reservations by cell phone while taking the ferry to the island. I could tell you about my version of “Regulators,” which was a karaoke hit our first night. But that’s all filler.

Insignificance (the name of a great album by Jim O’Rourke and a feeling of unimportance)

At some point during the trip, I found myself in the middle of the ocean. I was so far from shore that I couldn’t see individual beaches very well, and I certainly couldn’t see any people on the shore. The waves were choppy, sometimes forming into whitecaps. Usually, I’d imagine the ocean being fairly flat—a place where you could see for miles. At the surface level, you can see for miles, but because of the little dips and bumps, I would turn around and not be able to even see my roommate.

I was completely alone.

And around me there was so much air and water. I sort of enjoyed imagining a cord extending from my chest to the ground directly beneath me. Being so far from shore, that cord goes very deep before hitting the ocean floor. If you were there, you’d feel it too… this sense of vertigo. Like the kayak could lose its ability to stay afloat and you could fall through all that water.

So there’s that feeling of vertigo, combined with the feeling that everything was existing completely beyond my life. While snorkeling, pink, iridescent jellyfish floated all around. A three foot bat ray sat covered lightly in sand directly below me. And I was insignificant. Whether I was there or not, the jellyfish would be floating and the bat ray would be resting.

I think that frequently, day to day, we find this importance in what we’re doing. Facing the expanse of the ocean and air, and the impartial environment made me have that brief flash of how small each of us are within this huge world, which is a tiny thing floating in space.

Fear

After the first day of kayaking, we set up camp at around 2:00 in the afternoon. There was so little to do, that I was lying down for bed at 7:30, encouraging darkness so I could finally go to sleep. That’s when the fog came in.

It was very slow, but gradually it obscured the boats moored in the water and even the shoreline twenty feet away. The waves got louder in the fog. And it seemed like there was danger coming. Once you’ve started scaring yourself, there’s nothing you can do to feel safe. Perhaps the insignificance was persisting because I felt like the fog would lift me up and I’d fall through it into space.

I guess at any moment, I was worried that the laws of nature and gravity would shift and it would cause eminent death.

All together, it was an amazing holiday.

One reason why I'm skeptical of motion detectors on urinals...

I tested them by pissing in complete darkness. It still flushed when I walked away.

Also, how come they don't flush when the light is turned on or off.

My belief? They're magic.

A Modest Proposal

For improving the moral of the poor by promoting realistic aspirations while boosting California’s economy.

Dear Governor Schwartzenegger,

It has come to my attention that students across the state frequently disrespect their teachers, refuse to attend class, become violent with their peers, and make very little effort to achieve good grades. These problems are notoriously prominent in low-income, typically within large urban areas consisting of a large minority population.

As many scholars before me have inquired, why do these minorities strive to be disrespectful, uneducated members of the community? With such rebellious behavior, these students frequently do not graduate high school and are often ineligible for college.

The reason behind such malfeasance is caused by feelings of low self-worth. This, coupled with acute depression explains their lack of effort at school. These students exhibit their low moral by paying little attention to appearance (clothing that doesn’t fit, unwashed hair, and a slack jawed expression combined with a blank stare), attending few activities (low after school activity enrollment), increased hostility, alcohol and drug abuse, missing school, and having trouble concentrating. These symptoms are clearly evident in low-income school students.

Thus, by improving the moral of these students, we would see higher grades, less violence, better personal hygiene, and stronger concentration abilities. How could we go about changing students’ attitudes on a statewide scale? Simply by matching the students’ aspirations with their sensible outcomes in life.

For example, take a student in a low-income Los Angeles high school. Rather then making him depressed (and therefore, unruly) by frequently confronting him with his limitations, we should be paving his way towards his realistic unemployment lifestyle or his working class job. During this student’s education, he should be reassured about the benefits of low-skilled work (physical exercise, mentally undemanding decisions, and the replaceable workforce—constant turnovers mean new work environments!). He will be happy, having attainable goals with the proper reinforcement throughout his life.

Many may wonder how to best match one’s goals with their outcomes. The answer is quite simple really—insure that the individual is repeatedly assured of his lowered goal. We can achieve this in California by the implementing the following propositions.

1) Beginning with his elementary education. Starting very early, he should be afforded the least experienced teachers (offer more money to teachers in higher socioeconomic school districts to uphold this trend!). He will deduce from the teacher’s inability to control the classroom that he should have no self-control. During this free-wheeling jaunt of primary grades, the student will likely have no goals, which will make it easy to suggest that he assume the lowest aspirations.

2) Continuing with his environment. Make the schools unable to make necessary repairs to buildings, place numerous classes in the gym, and keep the classes as large as possible to insure minimum one-on-one attention. The loud classrooms will dull his senses, hopefully making him realize he likes the din of machinery.

3) Tracking his schooling. Very few of these students should be considering college, so insist on a lack of college eligible classes in his high schools. College counselor on campus? Oh, no! That would be a grave mistake! Some schools go for a more subtle approach, not even acknowledging their different curriculum tracks. But our schools should be heralding the low-level, inadmissible tracks because these will make the individual feel quite elated, graduating high school without having to worry about all that college admissions nonsense.

4) And lastly, why provide textbooks at all to these frequently underachieving students?

By fully implementing this moral change, California will once again be the strongest economic state in the Union for several reasons. 1) A larger group of unskilled laborers means lower wages and less paid benefits. Companies will stop outsourcing because cheap labor will be available in California. We could see the largest big business growth in decades! 2) Our public, low-income schools will be saving more money, turning the deficit into a government surplus. 3) Eventually, the state could close most of these schools, selling the land for increased state revenue, and eliminating that controlling interest group, the teachers’ union, which consistently wastes taxpayer dollars by demanding wage increases and benefits without merits.

For, being a society that heralds freedom for all, we would never consider giving an equal opportunity by providing an education that allows everyone regardless of race, wealth, or class a chance to succeed. We would not want equal access to experienced teachers, clean and suitable environments for learning, college counselors, or textbooks, because each of these would give people growing up in low income environs a chance to change their future level of employment.

I would be the first to set the example for low-skilled laborers everywhere but I've already incurred a substantial debt working on my teaching credential. So, I will probably join the middle class and teach where I will be paid the most.

Eschatological revelations through scatology

two definitions necessary for your appreciation of this installment (taken from Answers.com)

Scatology - n.

1. The study of fecal excrement, as in medicine, paleontology, or biology.

2. a) An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.

b) The psychiatric study of such an obsession.

3. Obscene language or literature, especially that dealing pruriently or humorously with excrement and excretory functions.

Eschatology - n.

1. The branch of theology that is concerned with the end of the world or of humankind.

---and now... let us begin---

You take shit for granted. And I don't mean shit as in the general things in life that you may take for granted. I mean shit.

Saturday morning, approximately 4 days ago, I woke up with abdominal pain. It was mainly in the center of my abdomen, just below my chest, forming a nice bloaty feeling, like I had tried to inflate a balloon by swallowing it and telling my colon, "Hey, it's a party! Invite a bunch of the organs together and just go crazy!!!"

Now, usually, my conversations with my colon would go something like, "Hi, how's it going, uh, colon," you know, general small talk until one of us decided the other was boring.

In this case, my colon decided to give me the silent treatment for four days and counting.

This is nothing unusual for me. I've generally found my digestive system to be the most rebellious group of organs I've delt with in my lifetime. I clearly remember when my large intestine decided he was tough and started smoking cigarettes with my spleen. They'd lounge, cussing out my ribcage for being such a pussy.

While the pain continued through Sunday, I realized I needed serious attention. Numerous ailments had been proposed and considered: bladder infection, urinary track race (which is where your urinary tract finds that its true calling is in the relay race), and although the pain was misplaced, appendicitis made a brief entrance.

Unfortunately, of the options, the doctor I saw on monday morning decided that it was appendicitis, sending me to the emergency room for x-rays, blood tests, and a ten hour day that could cost me my first several children.

I'd love to glorify the details, tell you about how I befriended most of the staff and other patients. You'd love the bit about the back and forth between the guy demanding vicadin and the doctors talking shit while I severly needed to shit. And the part where I pretended I was a doctor (albeit, a doctor with an IV in his arm) and accurately diagnosed a patient while getting a date with the head nurse. Streaks of pornography during morphine dreams.

But I've got no time for those tales of valor, comradery, and hallucinations.

I still need to shit.

So bad that I'm jealous of people on T.V. because I know that they are probably able to shit just fine. I'm jealous of you, especially if you've shit within the last twenty-four hours, if you've got medical insurance (which I don't), or if you've got one of those cool waffle-style long undershirts because, let's face it, I'd rather be constipated with a great sense of style then any other way.

What did eschatology have to do with all this? Well, some people theorize that shitting is proof of existence... sortof an "I shit, therefore, I am" philosophy that is not without its merits. See, it proves that you've truly eaten something, and truly physically altered it when it has finished its process through your body. And since I can't shit, I hardly feel alive.

Which is why I've declared a war of armageddon proportions on my digestive system. I'm eating at least 400% the daily recommended amount of fiber. Building up more and more till either the world ends or my constipation does.

A few things you should know as parting thoughts before you move on...

"catharsis," which means healing through pain comes from the greek word meaning "to pass a hard stool," something I now truly understand (I stole this from clearwater).

Also, being "full of shit" is pretty shitty.

Especially when you're accused of it in the ER.
(I now feel guilty and constipated because I totally don't have appendicitis).

security blankets, hazmat suits, and the elderly

Part I – Security blankets

After I graduated college, my grandmother gave me a hand-knitted blanket (the gift for every grandchild upon graduation). “What an amazing gift,” I thought, entering the harsh, post-graduate life of thankless jobs and a dearth of drinking on weeknights. “This way, while I’m full of self-pitying sobriety, I can feel warm and safe.”

Luckily, my grandmother named the blanket… it’s an “Iraq Afghan,” because she started it when the U.S. invaded Iraq. And she knitted the nice strip of red on the side when Saddam Hussein was captured. Which made my blanket a symbol of personal and national security.

It definitely keeps me warm, but I can’t vouch for its ability to stop WMDs or terrorist threats.

Part II – A problem

I remembered about my blanket because of a 60 minutes story I saw last evening. Basically, states and cities have been awarded exorbitant funds to help prepare them for terrorist threats. I’m divided on the issue because in some cases the local agencies could use more funds for their city/town projects. Also, it gives government spending a bad name because of some frivolous purchases (leather jackets). At the same time, funds are probably even going to Lost Springs, Wyoming (population: 3, in 1998).

By looking to my right, I can see the tallest skyscrapers in LA, under a mile away. If I was a reasonable person, I would spend most of the time on the roof of my building, screaming to the bank logos at the height of downtown (although, my neighbors would probably be the only people to listen), demanding my own hazardous materials suit because of my relative un-safety while living in their proximity.

If I was a reasonable person, I’d play Ultimate Frisbee nearby while wearing a thick plastic layer (1). With enough KY Jelly smeared on it, I’d slip through defenders like a full body condom, impervious to Al Qaeda.

Luckily, I’m an unreasonable person. Otherwise, if you wanted to shake my hand, you would walk away with a handful of some slippery lube.

Part III: A solution

However, years later, sitting under the blanket and watching 60 Minutes, I realized something. If we could only harness the energy of our elderly, all my concerns could be calmed.

What terrorist could attack our country if they had received a care package with hand-knitted blankets?

The citizens with wrinkly skin (who are comfortably ignored by retirement homes) could be put to good use. They can knit, sew, and perform innumerable feats of carpentry into the hearts of the world. My blanket would have truly become an Iraq Afghan. I can imagine Saddam warming himself in it, realizing that the Americans are quite all right. He’s sitting, either in a cave or in his mansion, keeping warm and reading his latest pen-pal letter by candlelight. Saddam smiles while sipping hot cocoa, chortling about a joke from one rich person to another.

Because, really, when you have everything, who wants to share it with anyone else?

I’m not quite sure what point I’m making… I could be saying

1) that old people have all these amazing talents, I’m jealous of them, and wonder, “what will our talents be when we’re old? Will I show my grandkids my Super Mario skills? Or perhaps just admit that I’m better off in a retirement home then putzing around the house calling the houseplants King Koopa and Luigi?”

2) that old people are frequently conservative, and that their desires could sometimes correspond with dictators

3) that foreign aid might make us more secure then haz-mat suits

4) or that I just like my blanket. Because, at the end of the day, the blanket makes me feel more secure then the news or the government.

And a footnote: (1) Seth came up with the idea of wearing haz-mat suits while playing frisbee.

prescribe me to the moon, and, roommate psychics

part one: prescribe me to the moon

I was watching television the other day when several things became apparent… I’m overweight, my joints ache, and my penis is flaccid. Or at least, I watch a lot of the same shows as people who are overweight, have arthritis, and have erectile dysfunctions. Luckily, every one of my maladies can be fixed by simply “asking my doctor about _____,” filling in whatever medication. Pretty soon, I’m going to be on lipitor, shedding pounds left and right… or maybe taking celebrex and doing tai chi in a park without muscle pains. With some luck, I’d be taking levitra to get a stronger, longer lasting erections. Isn’t life awesome? Isn’t being slender awesome? And, erections? Awesome!

This could be due to the television shows I watch, namely Jeopardy. Apparently, I’m within a quite attractive target audience. I wish I could get together with them, crack some knuckles, and discuss our failed weight loss programs. We probably wouldn’t discuss erectile dysfunction very much, because that doesn’t seem like suitable conversation for an assembly of people twice my age. We’d definitely talk about final Jeopardy last night, and I’d complain about how I was close to the final answer—if only I had named the right boring Milton novel.

A few years ago, advertising for medications became legal (I have no idea if this is national, and quite frankly, I’m not going to do extensive research for out of state readers). Thus, medicine has become big business. What was previously an altruistic calling where one saves lives, is now a money grubbing big-business.

Assuming you’re liberal and have some of the same background as me, you herald Canada and any Scandinavian country as a working solution to America’s health care crisis. You, like me, tout these countries amongst your conservative family in the midst of holiday dinner political arguments. All the while, you, like me, stuff yourself full of sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows (knowing in the back of your mind that someday, taking lipitor is going to be Awesome!). But yet we allow our drug manufacturers to spend money on advertising, all the while complaining about the rising cost of erections. (I could have said “infections” at the end of the last sentence… but I didn’t, try to swallow that)

With a little cash, all of us can have the answer to our middling midlife sex-lives! Who needs role-playing, kinky sex, public sex, kinky-public sex, or other naughty behavior more suitable for twenty-somethings, when you can get an erection by taking medicine?

I guess I just wish I had health care, a slender build, limber fingers, and an erection (because then at least I could do something in my spare time, something about as world-changing as complaining about how f’d up America is).

I recently received confirmation that my erections are not quite yet in need of Levitra, thus I also give you:
part two: roommate psychics

A couple nights ago, I had a wet dream. While I’m sure you’d love an extensive description of the hot make-out session in my dream, I’m afraid that I’m not allowed to discuss it. In fact, during the wet dream, the girl interrupted our hot make-out session to make me sign a non-disclosure agreement whereby I am allowed to mention the wet dream in question but not to give any details. Luckily, this wasn’t too difficult to do because I forgot the dream almost entirely after I woke up.

Except until the following night. I had worked all day, and, when I got home, my roommate told me about his previous night. While I had dreamed of a hot make-out session, he had actually had a hot make-out session.

Thus, we are roommate psychics.

What will really be amazing though, is when we stun the world with our abilities by going on Jerry Springer when I’m pregnant and my roommate gives birth to a baby in his sleep.

bad luck, hombre

A myspace blog from 3/24/05

I don't know about you, dear reader, but I, I believe in bad luck. More specifically, I believe in bad karma... and currently, I am facing potentially dangerous karma. The kind that makes your food sour before you get to leftovers. Karma that made M.C. Hammer into a religious zealot (effectively ruining his career). Even worse then that, I'll probably face my doom because of motor vehicles and a predilection for eating while driving.

I believe it began when I found a carpet down the street on sunday. I stood next to it for several minutes, wondering vaguely, "who rolled up this carpet and tied it with this strong piece of string? Why would someone abandon a perfectly good carpet? And, is it socially acceptable to take home a carpet that is assumed to be abandoned?"

Deep in my brain, I knew it was somebody's carpet, and I had no right to take it. Scene's from the Big Lebowski played out; I knew it was wrong, but damnit, the rug really pulled my living room together.

I give you the last 24 hours in pictures: (1) me eating delicious grapefruit in my car, possibly even saying outloud, "this is sooooo delicious," followed by rear-ending a truck on the freeway (more of a bump without negative repercussions); (2) dreams of having mortally wounded the 5 guys in the truck; a 10 hour flu complete with cold sweats; (3) bumping the brand new BMW in front of me with the owner in it, and (4) driving off an unmarked cliff on a hairpin turn.

While one of those is an exaggeration (because by "cliff," I meant "large pothole"), the rest have gradually built towards my current mindframe: I'm considering stockpiling provisions and never leaving the house without a shovel, qualudes, that magic scratch remover from the info-mercial, and a less delicious melon.

So, I'm going to have to ask you... anyone who reads this, what should I do? I need your help. By tomorrow morning I could find myself keelhauled and left for dead in the middle of the pacific (cause if that guy could afford that nice BMW, he could certainly afford to have me tortured at sea). By the end of the week, I will probably die of gangrene because I have eaten too much melon while driving.

Getting rid of the carpet is not an option.

Neither is voodoo because of an incident in the past when I made the voodoo doll of myself and left it near the stove.

Neither is having sex, cause really, if my luck's already bad, it's certainly not going to change for the better that drastically.

Your unfortunate blogger,
-k

Silence in the classroom...

2007-11-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

Right now it is almost completely silent in my fourth period classroom. All of the students are reading for "My Topic Time," my version of Sustained Silent Reading. I just finished my book The Gods Themselves by Isaac Asimov. This is one of those awesome moments of teaching. Everyone is reading quietly, and honestly, this is the best I can do for their reading level.

The book I read was decent, but had too many open ended parts for me. The conflict of the third section seemed overwraught, but otherwise, the book was enjoyable. Mostly, I'm typing right now because I can.

Alright, students have started talking, I suppose I need to re-inforce silent reading some more.

Also, because Tisa is pretty much the only person who will read my blog, I'd like to say hello to my darling wife. Hi my love, hope your day is going well.

An end to Bachelor-dome

2007-09-06T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hello, thought I'd post this, my first post to give you all directions and an open invitation to attend my bachelor party. Come! Bring Beer! Fishing Poles! Tents! Sleeping Bags! Whatever the hell you want! Should be a good time, can't wait to see you guys.

Who: Brotherhood of Man
When: Sept 28th - Sept. 30th
Where: Cachuma Lake, just north of Santa Barbara (google map)
How: Intoxicated
Why: Cause we like to

Call me or my brother for more info... we'll see if we can reserve a campsite, otherwise we'll let you know.
(805) 748-8082.

Pace.